The Deleted Logic Blog

I fucking hate Christmas!

It's probably no surprise... But I'll explain why.
See... I love my family and I love being with them. I just hate this shitty holiday.

The most petty and the smallest reason is that it is too damned close to my Birthday. Being born (poor as fuck) in January usually means that you get jack shit and everyone promises to give you something on your birthday instead. So that was one of my first problems with it, after a certain age.

The second reason is that the whole fucking thing is a sham: According to notable, Biblical historians... Christ was most likely born in September. It's the proximity to Yule (A perfectly wonderful Pagan Holliday) that has brought it into the December months, making it easy for the Children of Nature and Magick to hide among the torch-bearing Christians. What we should be celebrating in December is his conception. And how should we do this?
By staying home in warm beds and FUCKING!

One of the biggest reasons I hate this holiday is that it's just fucking GAUDY as all hell. The colors (Red and green and silver and gold for fuck's sake?) make me want to puke. They were never meant to go together in a festive manner and would serve as better decor for a mental institution that ENCOURAGES violent behavior. And what about the music? Most Caucasians can't even sing a hymn decently enough; but when you put Christmas music on, it just sounds unnerving and nauseating. The barking "Jingle Bells", the "Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Album" and "Grandma got run over by a fucking reindeer"... Those are the jagged peaks of a mountain of shitty music made for that time of year. There is only one exception I make and that's Bing Crosby with David Bowie doing "Little Drummer Boy".
That's it... Period!
And then there's the shitty food. I'm not talking about the eclectic confections found when the Sarvers gather... I'm talking about another dastardly curse of Caucasian culture: The turkey.
Have you ever seen a live turkey? These are stupid, evil animals that are easily descended from the last surviving dinosaurs. They have been known to drown in the rain by looking skyward with their mouths open. They are filthy and they are mean. They are ugly.
I'm not putting this rotten beast in my mouth with shitty stuffing and vegetables. No fucking way. Bring on the cranberries and yams... I need something to wash my enchiladas down with.

The two biggest reasons?
I'm always poor around this time. There is always some damned emergency or some ridiculous cost that comes around and wipes me out before I can get anything cool for the people I love. I hate it. There are a decent amount of people in my life I'd love to spoil if I could. So many of them put up with so much shit all year long and I'd love to make them happy... But I usually end up splitting the money and getting shit. It's the worst feeling of the holiday.
One of the biggest reasons? The commercialism. I know... It's hard to be a good Capitalist AND hate commercialism. But Christmas is way fucking overdone. I don't know if I can stomach one more variation of "A Christmas Carol" with corporate sponsorships glaring out at every convenience. Even the shit I like most of the year has to have Holly or some shit on the wrapper. It's annoying. None of that is what I hate about the commercialism so much as the fact (and this is the big one folks... my most heated reason for hating Christmas) that it ruins Halloween.
Yes... It fucking ruins Halloween.
You've all seen it in the stores: One shitty isle with cartoonish Halloween junk and Christmas shit popping up all over before October 31st has even come and gone. Yet another Pagan High Day totally fucked. All the Halloween stuff you do see is just campy like John Waters was given Ecstasy, free license and a vague idea of what Halloween is supposed to be like. There's no blood in it anymore and one of the biggest reasons for that is the way Christmas has encroached upon its domain.

So fuck Christmas.

FUCK CHRISTMAS FUCK CHRISTMAS FUCK CHRISTMAS!!!  

And it's fucking cold too.